Updated: Aug 7
So here’s another New Year and with new resolutions to come. How about doing it a better way this year? Instead of setting the same goals out of guilt or feeling bad about yourself how about taking a new approach? Consider the story you are telling about your life when you make new resolutions and decide this year to set goals that better reflect who you are and how you live your life. Let me explain.
Step 1 – It’s about caring for myself well.
So in my old story I’d make resolutions out of guilt and shame. My self-talk was full of things like “You’re such a slug. You gained 10 more pounds and your lazy”. But that never helped or motivated me to get moving. So I’m trying instead to wrap my resolutions in the belief that exercising more is good for me, makes me stronger, and gives me more energy. With new energy from exercising comes a leaner, more toned body, a mind that feels clearer, and a feeling of empowerment and positivity that fuels motivation. So whether it’s exercise or eating or connection with others, this new way of caring for myself inspires me to do other things that are good for me and reminds me that I am important enough to make time for me in my life. Now my story is that I am a person who cares well for myself.
Step 2 - It’s about being a person who keeps my word.
So in my old story I’d begrudgingly set goals to exercise or eat more salads or have more fun, but in a month or so I’d not followed through. So then I’d feel guilty because I didn’t keep my word to myself, and the people around me would see that I say things that I don’t mean and that my words can’t be trusted. So no more of that! In this new story of mine I only say what I mean and when I say it, I keep my commitments to follow through. My story now is that I am a person who keeps my word and can be trusted to follow through with my commitments.
Step 3 – It’s about being a person who communicates well about expectations.
In the past I have set myself up for resistance from others by assuming that everyone else is board with this new way I’m going to do things. Of course, if it’s something I want to change, everyone around me wants the same thing, right? Well, sometimes that happens but not always. My new story considers that I’ve had lots of conversations in my head with myself, but that doesn’t help anyone around me understand what’s getting ready to happen. So I tell others what they can expect from me and acknowledge that my changes may affect them. My new story shows that I am a person who communicates well about the changes I am making and compassionately acknowledges how these changes affect others.
See the difference? This year My Story reflects who I am:
I am a person who cares well for myself.
I am a person who keeps my word and can be trusted to follow through with my commitments.
I am a person who communicates well about the changes I am making and compassionately acknowledges how these changes affect others.
And that’s only the beginning of how 2020 could end with a story that truly reflects who you are and who you want to be. There are so many other ways to grow and change! So get started today! Here’s to a better life story in 2020!
If the life you live now leaves you anxious, depressed, or in conflict with others you don’t have to stay where you are. I’ll listen to the story of your life and come alongside you to write a better one for you this year. Give me a call at 850.450.7223 or schedule an appointment by clicking here.
Dianne Presley, LCSW, BC-TMH
Believe, Hope, Inspire Wellness Services LLC
Anxiety, Depression and Relationship Therapy
Gottman Level 1 and Level 2 Trained Therapist
Gottman Educator in 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work and Bringing Baby Home
Certified Brain Based Success Coach